Ingredients:

1/2 kilo ground/minced/cubed pork lungs and heart

1 whole garlic head, crushed and minced

1 whole onion head, minced

1 red bell pepper, minced

pepper

chili slices (adjust according to taste)

atsuete /annato seed oil

2 tablespoons cooking oil

salt

*you can substitute salt for patis/fish sauce

Procedure:

Heat oil in a pan and saute garlic until you can smell its aroma then mix in the onions. After two minutes, mix the pork heart and lungs. Cook for about five minutes or just until the meat turns brown. Season with salt, pepper and the chili slices. Pour in the annato seed oil and bell pepper. Stir and let cook for around ten more minutes, adjusting the taste as you go along. Serve with plain steamed rice.

Today would be my second attempt at this mouth-watering dish. The first one was a flop in a sense that I didn’t really use the right ingredients because I didn’t have a clue what they were. I basically relied on instincts, trying with a degree of desperation, to recall and mimic the taste of that hong ma dish we ordered at Ongpin back in early 2008.  I almost got it right, but the lack of enthusiasm on my Chinese husband’s reaction on his first bite was a bit discouraging.

Thanks to Connie Veneracion’s braised pork hock recipe, I finally found the right mixture of ingredients this morning when I googled “hong ma recipe”. I used my trusty crock pot/slow cooker to tenderize the meat. Switched on ‘High’ setting, I opted not to broil or bake the pork belly, I instead let the crock pot run its own course. I only poured 2 glasses of water, peppercorns, salt, minced garlic, soy sauce, some sugar and five spice powder along with the meat and let it sit there for four hours. On the stove top, I made the soup/syrup on a separate pan following Ms. Connie’s instructions. I transferred the tenderized and flavored meat to the pan of boiling syrup and adjusted the flavors according to taste and that’s it.  Of course the combination and measurements were series of hits and misses but I’m happy to announce here on Shine! that in the end, I conquered!

So with all that being said, let me present….. *drum roll*

… the perfect Hong Ma dish!

For the recipe, I simply used the same ingredients Ms. Connie did on her braised pork hock except for the Sichuan peppers. I also used less vinegar and rice wine and more sugar. Like I said, everything is a hit and miss so it pays to sample a bit of the soup every now and then and just adjust according to your tastes.

A brother and dear friend recommended this book to me when he heard that we took the first major step in getting our adoption application processed yesterday at our local social welfare department. I have read the first thirty pages and one too many times, Moore’s account of his sons’ adoption and his pointing the readers to biblical insights reduce me to tears. I can’t wait to get my hands on my copy of the book! (paging Doc, lol!)

Anyway, there, I have said it. When Warren first announced our intent to adopt a child, I remained quiet and did not mention it much even to our friends. I wanted to wait things out, see if we will truly, finally, pursue it. Adoption has always been a plan that we both set out to do, contrary to what most of the people close to us thinks, this is not a recourse or an alternative. Warren, in his blog post said that we want to “take advantage of our incapability to bear children,” well excuse my dear husband but we are not entirely “incapable” of bearing children. Clinically speaking, he has a steady supply of a decent amount of sperm and as for me, well there are still tests I needed to undergo such as the HSG and maybe, just maybe, all I need to do is lose the extra sixty pounds I have accumulated over the years. And of course, other drastic (?) alternatives are also starting to become more available and affordable in our province, so you know, it’s not like we are at the end of the rope of things already.

Anyway, I digress, what I am trying to say here is that adopting a son has always been included in our plan for our family, period. It was a decision that we have made a long time ago and a conviction that was made even stronger by certain realizations in our walk with Christ, the strongest of which has a lot to do with being adopted citizens of the Kingdom. I distinctly remember a conversation I had with a sister in Christ who told me that she and her husband decided that no matter what happens, they will never adopt a child. My reaction was, “Why not, Sis? Didn’t you know that you became a Christian ONLY because God, in His immeasurable grace, chose to adopt you? Imagine, out of all the many souls who need a Savior, He chose you. Why would you not consider what our Father in Heaven Himself did for you?” Well, I think I irritated the heck out of her because with a raised brow and a flip of her hair, she exasperatedly said, “To each his own.”

I remember that time our Young Married group trooped to an orphanage in Lubao, Pampanga, we were all distressed to see so many children abandoned and left to the care of the social workers. Most of our sisters in Christ were moved to tears – mothers most especially- out of pity for the children and maybe even anger for the parents who left them there. I walked around not shedding a single tear, but my heart was also being ripped apart as I looked into each child’s eye, seeing the longing, the ‘lost-ness’, the yearning to be loved and maybe, in some deep, primal level, to belong. But did I not look that lost, unwanted and pitiful before I received God’s grace of salvation? Did I also not walk around with a big, hollow soul wanting to be filled and to be assured of love? Did I also suffer condemnation for being an outcast, until the Father drew me to Him and adopted me to become His daughter?

I like how Russell Moore puts it in his book, he said that “Adoption is, on the one hand, gospel. In this, adoption tells us who we are as children of the Father. Adoption as gospel tells us about our identity, our inheritance, and our mission as sons of God. Adoption is also defined as mission. In this, adoption tells us our purpose in this age as the people of Christ. Missional adoption spurs us to join Christ in advocating for the helpless and the abandoned.”

Adoption should not be a “last recourse” or a “desperate attempt to belong”, I believe that those two, mixed together, make up for the best formula  for any relationship within adoptive families to fail. Adoption should be founded on biblical intentions and center on unconditional Christian love. When I told our dear, dear pastor about our plan, he assured me that not having a child does not make us less of a family, and he advised me to make sure that we are emotionally prepared, “read parenting books, seek advise from matured parents”, he wisely counseled. Does it look like we are a desperate couple seeking to belong to a society where a “family” is a unit that must consist of a set of parents and children? Perhaps, I laughed and thought to myself. But no, we are not. There is Someone bigger than us behind all of these and we praise Him for the work He continually does in our hearts. Five years ago, I would never even imagine myself thinking about adopting a child. But then, the Lord has done miraculous works in me and here I am now, advocating a cause even.

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
- Psalm 37:4

It was never a secret, both to those who read this blog and those who read After His Own Heart, that Warren and I have been praying for a child of our own. Of course, this is also not a secret to our friends, family and church family. Most of the time, I hear people tell me to just keep on praying for God will grant me the desires of my heart. It’s probably their way of encouraging me and comforting me, and true enough I get comforted by these kind and well-meaning words.

However, as a sinner saved by God’s grace, what are the desires of my heart? Or, more aptly said, what MUST be the desires of my heart now that I have received God’s gift of eternal salvation? Must it be to become a parent to a lovely mini-Warren? Must it be to become a healthy and wealthy woman? Must it be to live a life that is bereft of discomforts and pains? What if I don’t get all of these things in this lifetime, what will I do? What will I think of God and how will I reconcile that to what Scripture says in Psalm 37:4?

A sinner saved by God’s grace… As I turn these words over and over in my brain and as the words tumble and roll through and out of my tongue and mouth, I ask myself, what does that mean to me? How does that phrase impact my life? I am a sinner saved by God’s grace and this ‘grace’ had cost Him a Son, and the desires of my heart is to have a child? What a very selfish and ungrateful woman! Don’t I understand? I was hell-bound, I was walking around with an invisible ball and chain and my soul was being awaited with much anticipation in hell, I was DEAD! And out of the graciousness and mercy of a God I never knew, or perhaps knew but hated with a putrid hatred in my heart, my destination to the fiery lakes of hell was canceled, my chains were unlocked, and while the demons are clucking their tongue and shaking their heads in exasperation for losing me to the Lord, the angels in heaven were shouting and singing in merrymaking for I was born again, I was made ALIVE! And for all of that to happen, a Son was sent to die on the cross to buy me out from bondage to Satan and his army. And all I want to have is a child?

No, it can’t be that mundane. God does not raise from the dead just so the things we would desire would be far from glorifying Him or would be self-serving. Above all things, we must desire and seek ways to give glory to our Lord, in abundance or need, in pain or joy, in suffering or rejoicing. Jesus Christ should be the focal point of our purpose for living, and Him alone. All the rest are just bonuses and excesses, after all, at the end of our earthly journey, it will just be us standing before God. Everything else that we have – may they be monetary riches, friends, family or material possessions – will be left behind.

I spent my morning preparing her queening box and playing with her, poor Missy because her movements are now limited due to her burgeoning baby bump, she also gets tired easily and likes nothing else but to eat and sleep time away. I don’t know exactly how far she is along but if my memory serves me right, she should be giving birth on the tenth of August or maybe even earlier. I never thought that taking care of a pregnant cat can require extra attention as opposed to when they are not pregnant. I had to change Missy and Coco (yes, Coco is having her first litter in a month)’s diet to keep them in top health condition, I also make sure that they receive their daily dose of supplements (KittyVite). For their diet, I added PLAIN steamed fish meat and chicken liver which I alternately serve along with their favorite cat food. Missy used to be a finicky eater but with her condition right now, I noticed that she eats almost anything that we put on her food bowl.

Well, my next project as soon as Missy and Coco gives birth would be to deworm all three of them including Calvin who I will also have neutered soon. And then, maybe buy me a Chinchilla Persian… Hmmm, we’ll see… (see photo below of a Chinchilla Persian)

(Photo courtesy of Sunjomar.Co.Za)

“They shall go hindmost with their standards.” — Numbers 2:31

The camp of Dan brought up the rear when the armies of Israel were on the march. The Danites occupied the hindmost place, but what mattered the position, since they were as truly part of the host as were the foremost tribes; they followed the same fiery cloudy pillar, they ate of the same manna, drank of the same spiritual rock, and journeyed to the same inheritance. Come, my heart, cheer up, though last and least; it is thy privilege to be in the army, and to fare as they fare who lead the van. Some one must be hindmost in honour and esteem, some one must do menial work for Jesus, and why should not I? In a poor village, among an ignorant peasantry; or in a back street, among degraded sinners, I will work on, and “go hindmost with my standard.” – Charles Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, July 18 (emphasis added)

There are instances when we think we are better than others and therefore deserve to be frontrunners, other times we think that being placed on the hindmost part or level is degrading and embarrassing.

Take for instance our functions as members of our churches. Should we feel bad about ourselves and see ourselves less if we were assigned to serve the food and not lead a cell group? Don’t we have the same purpose as the cell group leader which is to worship, glorify and wait on the Lord? We may be doing the ‘menial’, but it does not leave us out of God’s army. We are still a part of it, and no matter how ‘lowly’ by human standards our functions are, we are still considered a vital part of the whole congregation.

Should I be assigned to preach Christ in a poverty-stricken area and Warren gets a similar assignment but in a more progressive village, should I feel less of a person and much more, less of a Christian? Aren’t we just doing the same work, marching the same march, gearing ourselves up for the same purpose?

Christ Himself occupied the hindmost place, he was born in the most unlikely fashion into the most ordinary family. When he began his three year ministry, He served more than He was served. He had no permanent bed to sleep on, no permanent home to retire to at the end of a long day of healing the sick, preaching the Word and saving souls. He walked on foot, no carriage carried Him to His destinations and He washed the disciples’ feet! And then, as we all know, He is the King of Kings, and yet He died a gruesome death, the kind that was reserved for the lowliest of the low in the society. Oh yes, Jesus Christ occupied the hindmost place. He was last, He bore all of our sins and died in our place. He saved us from eternal condemnation by positioning Himself on the hindmost place.

“What mattered the position… they were as truly part of the host as were the foremost”. Indeed, now what if we are placed at the last? For as long as we are a part of God’s army, there is every reason to keep our hearts joyful!

Meeting Tita Sara and my cousin Bryan, who both indulged me by telling me everything they could about my grandfather Isidor, was a very happy occasion but you know, it was also somewhat emotionally exhausting. Bryan’s pretty much like me personality-wise, and seeing glimpses of myself in him was too much to take at times. I mean, how can we have the same personality when we have lived apart all our lives? How can we be so the same in many ways when the only link that we have is the blood that runs through our veins? It was so uncanny but unbelievably true. Much more with my aunt. It was just all so surreal that even after my weekend vacation with them and even now, almost a week after, I am still feeling shaken and out of sync.

So, I am still in a quandary. Should I pursue the Acosta Family of Guiuan, Eastern Samar or not?

I saw this Meme at e-Mom’s blog and decided to kill time by doing it.

I am….. a plain, full time housewife.
I want….. to continuously grow as a Christian woman.
I have….. new dreams and hopes to chase.

I wish….. that life was kinder.
I hate….. loudness.

I miss….. the old days with my grandparents, siblings and cousins.
I fear….. life without God.
I feel….. that I am coming full circle with my identity.
I hear….. the “taho” vendor calling out.
I smell….. the bacon cooking.

I crave….. for things spiritual, and some pistachio and mint ice cream
I search….. the Scriptures for Truth.

I wonder….. about my mother often.

I regret….. much of the mistakes of my past.
I love….. my husband, ever more.
I ache….. for the brokenhearted and lost souls.

I care….. about the sick and the dying.

I always….. look for ways to grow into the woman that God purposed me to be.

I am not….. into sports.

I believe….. in many things, but above all, in Jesus Christ.

I dance….. when I am happy.
I sing….. silently, because I don’t have a good singing voice.

I cry….. for the unborn and the unwanted.

I don’t always….. look at the mirror and slap creams onto my face – something that hubby wonders about a lot.
I fight….. until I win.
I write….. and will continue to write until I’m old and gray.

I never…. would settle for second best.
I listen….. to True Woman podcasts and audio materials three times a day!

I need….. to be alone with my Lord sometimes.

I am happy….. with the way life has turned out for me.

Here is a beautiful testimony from a woman who is terminally ill and was given only a few weeks to live due to cancer cells spreading to her bones, liver and skull. I really hope that you will listen to this audio and may your life be moved by her undying faith.

Death Is Not Dying (with Rachel Barkey) Part 2 – Nancy Leigh DeMoss

You can visit Rachel’s website at Death Is Not Dying to know more about her story.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” – Genesis 2:18

This verse had a different and stronger impact on me yesterday when I opened my bible to Genesis as I prayed on my way to Rolling Hills Community Church for the CLASBC Women Missionaries Union Fellowship. Was it an accident that I opened my bible to this passage at a time when I am on my way to a missionaries union fellowship and was it an accident that a realization of what this passage meant hit me on this very particular day and time?

The passage was talking about what God said when He decided to create the woman. “It is not good for the man to be alone…”, He knew that the man would need a companion, yes, but look at the rest of what God said, “I will make him a helper fit for him…”, a “helper” fit for the man, a “help-meet”, not a creature to be placed below or above the man in rank but a creature that is fit for the role of a “helper”. An assistant, someone who will help the man govern God’s creation, someone who is a coadjutor as the man performs his duties in the garden.

What hit me the most is that this is God’s very first spoken statement of His purpose in creating the woman. This was His very purpose for Eve, and that means this is God’s design for the woman: To be the man’s minister. Yes, women, here it is from the mouth of the Lord God Himself, it is He who had spoken, it is He who had set the parameters for us – that our very first ministry should be our husbands.

I have known for quite sometime already that my husband is my very first ministry, but you know, it just didn’t hit me this hard until I read that passage from Genesis. I used to believe in that only because it sounded logical that my husband’s needs should be met first before I can extend my ministry outside our home, I used to think that I should minister to my household first because that’s just the proper order of things. But then, here is this verse from the book of beginnings and I am just awestruck. God Himself declared His purpose for creating me. God Himself. What a revelation to my yet feeble mind!

P.S.
I shared this to the attendants of the fellowship as soon as the table was opened for sharing. No, I did not exhort on the passage like I almost did here but I gave them a brief sweep over and just prodded them to meditate on the passage. My prayer is that may they also feel the conviction that I felt and may they also find joy and peace in ministering to their husbands. May they obey the Lord with exultation and worship and when things get rough at home and they are in that moment when they just feel that their husbands are not their current most favorite person in the world, may they look past that, and instead focus on God so that they will not be compelled to disobey and stumble.

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God – 1 Corinthians 10:31